Overcoming Fear with the Word

I love to sing. However, since I was 15 years old, I have battled a major fear issue with singing solos. I can't pinpoint the exact moment this fear began to grow, but it has stuck with me since then. I sang in several groups in high school and one in college, but when it came to asking me to do solos, no sir.

A few weeks ago, my father asked me to sing a gorgeous soprano lead/solo in the most lovely arrangement of Silent Night. For weeks, I have been dreading the day I would sing it with my family. Well, today was the day.

I woke three times this morning (at 1, 4, and then finally 5). Each time I woke, my mind immediately shifted to the performance and I began to feel sick and clammy. I rose out of bed and went to the office to practice for the next three hours.

I then sat on my couch and began to pray earnestly--pray that God would finally release me from this deep-rooted fear or pray He would make me lose my voice this morning so I couldn't sing (funny, I know). But really, I wanted peace.

I was reminded of Isaiah 26: 3 (You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.). Okay, God. How can my mind stay on you while my heart is beating out of my chest? I then asked my wonderful hubby to pray with me that God would indeed keep me in perfect peace.

During the songs leading up to Silent Night, I felt the butterflies flutter intensely and my heart pounded so hard that it was all I could hear. Then everything was quiet. The music had stopped and it was time for my a capella ensemble. "Oh, God. Give me that peace you promised". My high, starting note was played to cue me to begin singing alone into the silence.

All the sudden, I heard this bold, crystal clear voice singing "Silent Night, Holy Night". It was me! I felt so filled by the Holy Spirit, that throughout the rest of the song, I smiled joyfully at the congregation (not staring face down onto the sheet music like I promised myself I would do to avoid eye contact).

It was as if the Lord was right next to me saying "April, I will keep you in perfect peace. Trust me." It is only by His strength and grace that I was able to sing so confidently today. I give Him all the glory & praise for giving me strength to overcome my fear.

In Heavenly Peace,
April