My Labor & Delivery Experience

I was scheduled for an inducement at 6:00 AM on Wednesday, August 24. As Philip & I drove to the hospital that morning, we held each others hands and reminisced over the three years of happily wedded bliss and our hopes for our future family.

The induction was put on hold for an hour because I ate Honey Nut Cherrios before arriving (note: you are not supposed to eat anything before an induction--this would have been nice to know beforehand). :)

I was induced at 9:30 AM and immediately began having contractions. Philip remained by my side at all times helping me breathe through the pain. I dilated to a 4 before requesting an epidural (12:30). By 4:30 PM, I was dilated to a 9.5 and stayed that way until 7:30 PM when the doctor told me a C-section was required because the baby was not in the right position for delivery. I was told I would go in for the surgery in 30 minutes.

After the doctor left, I began to cry for disappointment and tremble with fear. Philip steadfastly told me it would be okay. After medication was given to numb my body from the chest down, I began to feel on fire. The oxygen mask had been applied over the nurse cap on my head. The medication gave me cotton-mouth. With a sudden and uncontrollable fear, I begged for ice chips. The nurse sympathetically told me I could not have anything to sooth the burning. "This is the closest to hell I hope I ever feel" was what I wanted to scream.

After the doctor granted my request not to have my arms strapped down during the surgery, I was 95% sedated and was wheeled into the operating room. I remember very little other than the first sight of my son being lifted over my body and the sound of his cry. I had the strength to look over to see Philip stand over him while the nurse cleaned him and checked his weight and measurements. I could see he put his finger inside the palm of Baby Grant's hand and Grant clinched it. Philip brought him to me and it was love at first sight.

"Thank you, Jesus" I whispered.

When Two Becomes Three

Today is my due date to deliver our first child. The day has finally come! The doctor says if Baby Tummins doesn't make his arrival on his own, I will be induced on Tuesday.

As I snuggled under the sheets last night and tried to get comfortable with my watermelon-sized belly, I whispered to Philip "these have been a great three years together". After a few seconds of silence, he put his arm around me and said "I'm not going anywhere".

Though I wasn't feeling insecure, no other words he could have said would have brought me more reassurance and joy. These truly have been the happiest years of my life (thus far) and I can only imagine how much more our lives will be enriched by the addition of our little miracle.

I am overwhelmed and cannot find words to describe the joy I feel. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for putting your arms around our family and saying "I'm not going anywhere, either".

144 Hours Until Parenthood

Yes, in six days, Philip and I are due to be a parents for the very first time. Over the past nine months, much planning, reading, and budgeting have gone in to preparing ourselves for this new, adventure. (I still feel like I need another nine months to be where I think we should be in the preparation process!)

Yesterday began my first day of maternity leave. It was spent running around trying to get all my errands finished. Today, I prepared the garden squash for freezing and with the 40+ tomatoes, I made fresh tomato juice and spaghetti sauce.

It just occurred to me that there are just mere days and hours separating me from mommy-hood.

When I was single, I wondered/worried what married life would be like. Would I enjoy being married? What kind of wife would I be? I hadn't been a wife before and certainly didn't know what unsaid expectations there would be. Would Philip really love me forever?

How wonderfully surprised I was when I discovered that marriage brought tremendous amounts of joy, growth and love. I have now been married over three years and am more crazy about Mr. Philip than ever before--and I only wish now that we had married much sooner than we had. He is the love of my life.

Though I am not sad to leave this married-without-kids scenario, it is hard to imagine that I can be even happier than I am now. God has given me so much ability to love more deeply and more fully over these past three years but I still can't comprehend the joy that awaits us in just a few days.

So, here's looking ahead with Philip's hand in mine--Let's Do This! :)

Carrying Life

So I finally have the freedom to share the most glorious news: I have a precious little life growing inside of me. I have known for several weeks--all the symptoms, tests, and doctors visits confirmed it all.

It was only a month ago today that I thought my life was changing due to a job loss. Well, I didn't lose my job. I conceived a child. (Boy, was I way off!)

But I was right about one thing: life is changing. Less than 9 months from now (Lord willing), I will be holding someone Philip and I will completely cherish and love for the rest of our lives. I wonder who he/she will be and whose lives they will touch. I know for sure that this tiny, now 1-inch baby, has already profoundly changed me--and I shall never be the same.

So, my prayer is that the Lord will allow me the privilege of carrying this life safely. I pray He will grant me and Philip a further privilege to experience many wonderful years of parenthood.

Pslam 132: 19: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Knit away, Lord! Knit away. :)

What Not to Say: Opening Christmas Gifts

Don't say that!

We've all been in awkward situations when it comes to Christmas gift-opening time. If you've lived past four-years-old, you've probably received something you hate. Or worse, you've given something that someone else hated, and they make it known to everyone in the room.

Here are just a few funny (but helpful) little tips to remember when giving/receiving gifts this year:

The Giver:

1. I got it at Goodwill
2. It was way out of my price range, but you wanted it.
3. I found that in a lost/found.
4. I left the price tag on there
5. You have such expensive taste.
6. You're cheap to buy for
7. Do you mind trading with so and so? She likes your gift better.
8. I spent X amount on it.

The Receiver:

1. How much did you pay for this?
2. I don't like this. Did you get a gift receipt?
3. That's it?
4. I like her gift better. Do you mind if I trade?
5. I got the worst gift.
6. You can't afford to buy something like this.
7. This isn't the one I wanted.
8. I didn't want a gift.

So, remember your manners. If someone around you says one of these phrases or something similar to them, do your best to change the subject and move on to the next gift!

Overcoming Fear with the Word

I love to sing. However, since I was 15 years old, I have battled a major fear issue with singing solos. I can't pinpoint the exact moment this fear began to grow, but it has stuck with me since then. I sang in several groups in high school and one in college, but when it came to asking me to do solos, no sir.

A few weeks ago, my father asked me to sing a gorgeous soprano lead/solo in the most lovely arrangement of Silent Night. For weeks, I have been dreading the day I would sing it with my family. Well, today was the day.

I woke three times this morning (at 1, 4, and then finally 5). Each time I woke, my mind immediately shifted to the performance and I began to feel sick and clammy. I rose out of bed and went to the office to practice for the next three hours.

I then sat on my couch and began to pray earnestly--pray that God would finally release me from this deep-rooted fear or pray He would make me lose my voice this morning so I couldn't sing (funny, I know). But really, I wanted peace.

I was reminded of Isaiah 26: 3 (You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.). Okay, God. How can my mind stay on you while my heart is beating out of my chest? I then asked my wonderful hubby to pray with me that God would indeed keep me in perfect peace.

During the songs leading up to Silent Night, I felt the butterflies flutter intensely and my heart pounded so hard that it was all I could hear. Then everything was quiet. The music had stopped and it was time for my a capella ensemble. "Oh, God. Give me that peace you promised". My high, starting note was played to cue me to begin singing alone into the silence.

All the sudden, I heard this bold, crystal clear voice singing "Silent Night, Holy Night". It was me! I felt so filled by the Holy Spirit, that throughout the rest of the song, I smiled joyfully at the congregation (not staring face down onto the sheet music like I promised myself I would do to avoid eye contact).

It was as if the Lord was right next to me saying "April, I will keep you in perfect peace. Trust me." It is only by His strength and grace that I was able to sing so confidently today. I give Him all the glory & praise for giving me strength to overcome my fear.

In Heavenly Peace,
April

The Universe is Unfolding

On Monday, three people I love working with lost their jobs due to a lack of donations. To say the least, the morale in the office has been the pits on so many levels. While their jobs cease to exist for the time being, the workload on the remaining few has instantly and heavily increased.

Frankly, I strongly believed I was going to be unemployed today. But, the Lord obviously saw fit for me to stand in the gap during this time. I still don't feel worthy to stay, but stay I will.

While it has been hard to sort out my feelings on this sudden change, I came across a poem "Desiderata" written in 1920 by Max Ehrmann.

I found it encouraging and uplifting. Below are a few excerpts...

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God and keep peace in your soul.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

So, here's to having faith that all things work for good and for the glory of God. Keep peace in your soul.